Developers can refer to this FAQ for instructions on how to change the target .NET framework version to .NET version 4.0.
In the project properties dialog, set Configuration Properties > General > Platform Toolset to v90. This will result in the $VCInstallDir macro to point to the installation folder of VC++ 9.0 SP1. The include, library and executable directory settings are relative to the value of the $VCInstallDir macro.
The project settings dialog of VS 2010 does not allow for setting the .NET framework version targeted by a project. Hence, a text editor is needed to modify the TargetFrameworkVersion value in the vcxproj file:
<PropertyGroup Label="Globals">
<TargetFrameworkVersion>Vx.x</TargetFrameworkVersion>
The folders within a VS 2008 project file (known as filters) is stored by VS 2010 in a new file with the extension vcxproj.filters. When renaming, adding or removing files in a VS 2010 project file, both the .vcxproj and the .vcxproj.filters file are updated by VS 2010.
In general, no. The 3ds Max 2012 installer should normally install the C++, .NET framework and other run-times required by 3ds Max and the majority of the plug-ins.
Since 3ds Max 2012 targets .NET 4.0, VS 2008 can only be attached to it as "Native code".